It's Not THAT Bad...

I cannot tell you how many times people come to my office and think back on things that happened in childhood or even recently, and say, “Well, it really wasn’t that bad, when you think of terrible things that happen to people…”  

I feel sad when I hear that because I wonder if anyone has ever told them that it’s okay to feel what you feel, and by that I mean saying…

“That must have been really hard for you.”

“I can understand why that hurt your feelings.”

“I don’t blame you for being angry.”

It doesn’t have to be the most extreme circumstances to strongly affect us.  It would have been great if someone had done this for us along the way, but now, we can do it for ourselves.

The best thing we can do for ourselves is to validate our own experiences. It’s an important form of self-care. 

Instead of “It really wasn’t that bad.”

Why not, “wow, that really hurt.”

Let’s see if it makes a difference in how we see ourselves and deal with painful situaitons.